Ki-ken-tai no icchi from Beginning to End

Hello, it’s Haru-chan, your ever-familiar self-proclaimed “ki-ken-tai no icchi neurosis” cat.

Today, while continuing my daily pursuit of ki-ken-tai no icchi, I’d like to share some mysterious experiences I had along the way. This has turned into another long post… and despite the length, you might end up thinking, “Wait, you didn’t know that?” So if you’re busy, I recommend saving this for when you have a ton of free time to kill.♡

The other day, I heard through the grapevine that a senpai I deeply admire has been taking a break from keiko due to health reasons. Thinking about how he must feel made me ashamed of myself.

Because last autumn, when I injured my lower back and spent two months doing mitori-geiko, I made a firm vow to myself:
“Being able to practice at the dojo every day is not something to take for granted! From now on, I’ll take care of my body seriously and approach each keiko with greater sincerity and appreciation!”

And yet…

In less than three months, I had completely forgotten that vow.

Ughhh… how pathetic!!

Right now, my beloved senpai is probably feeling so frustrated, unable to practice…
There’s nothing I can do for him, but—
I imagined him doing mitori-geiko next to me,
and thought:
I must practice in a way that I wouldn’t be ashamed to be seen!

So, I reset my mindset and went into practice that day with a promise to myself:
🔥 with my whole body and soul 🔥
Truly, literally, 🔥 with everything I’ve got 🔥!

And then… what I felt during that day’s keiko was something I had never experienced before…

Wait…
Come to think of it, I had felt something similar once before.

It was during a tournament.

My opponent at that time was someone who—no matter how you looked at it—100% guaranteed that I would lose. Honestly, every living being in the universe would probably agree.

Yes, it was frustrating, but realistically, there was no way I could win.
I didn’t want to say “absolutely,” but… I knew I would lose.

However, I cared about how I would lose.

After the match, I didn’t want people to say, “Well, of course that’s how it turned out.”

Even if it was like 1,000,000 warriors vs. 3 warriors,
I felt like my ancestors were telling me:
“Even in a losing battle, you must not die shamefully!!”

Anyway, I swore to myself that I would give everything I had and fight with it all. Yes—once again, I chose to face it 🔥 with my whole body and soul 🔥.

In my 15 years of practicing kendo, this has only happened twice—but when I entered keiko or a match with that 🔥 all-in 🔥 resolve, I experienced something very unusual.

It’s hard to put into words, but first, I felt like all the cells and energy in my body were shouting:

“UOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

They were uniting, becoming one.

And then—

“UOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

That unified force seemed to gather toward a single point somewhere in front of me.

Inside my body, it felt like:

“Alright everyone, let’s goooo!!”
“UOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

But—

Even though it felt like “UOOOOOO!!,” my body wasn’t stiff or tense at all.

Whether I was moving or standing still,
everything inside me just kept going:

“UOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

like it was swirling around continuously.

And compared to my usual self—

My shinai swings felt sharper still slow compared to others, though!
When striking, I charged straight in without hesitation boar-cat mode?
Rensoku-waza I don’t normally do came out naturally totally uncoordinated, of course…
Even my usually half-hearted zanshin was—

“UOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

It just kept going…

Basically, it was “UOOOOOOO!!!” the entire time.

Sorry for all the “UOOOOOOO!!!” in today’s blog…

It lasted less than three minutes or so, but it was a completely new sensation.
I thought:
W-what on earth just happened to me?

So I mentally went back to myself before keiko (or before the match) and reflected.

When I compared my usual self with the “UOOOOOO!!!” version of me, there was one big difference.

Before facing my opponent,
I had made a clear decision in my heart.

In other words,
I had decided exactly what I want to do — and sworn to myself that I would carry it out.

Because of that,
my “mind” became the leader,
and my body and shinai (the monouchi)—like loyal followers—did their best to keep up.

Maybe that’s what was happening…

Just as I was about to convince myself—

Wait a second…

Isn’t this…

That thing?

If mind, body, and monouchi became one…
Isn’t that basically saying Ki, Tai, and Ken became one?

Out of nowhere—ki-ken-tai no icchi appears!

I had always believed that ki-ken-tai no icchi was something to aim for at the moment of striking.

But now I wonder…

Is it actually something that must already be in place from the very moment you face your opponent?

To stand before your opponent in a state where mind, body, and monouchi are fully connected—

And maintain that state the entire time you are fighting—

So that when the moment comes— “Now!!” —you can naturally execute a strike with ki-ken-tai no icchi…

Is that how it works?

Ooooooh…… I stood there in stunned silence…

Well…

Somehow, I feel like I’ve made another huge discovery.

Things that used to feel separate are now starting to connect.

And when things connect,
three become two,
two become one…

There was a time when I felt overwhelmed—like, “There’s too much, I can’t handle it!”

But maybe…
what I actually need to do is far fewer—and simpler—than I thought.

Just incredibly difficult… hahaha.

Thinking this way, even this middle-aged Kendo Cat feels a ray of hope shining in again.

Sparkle✨

So, what I’ve learned this time is:

The first step toward achieving ki-ken-tai no icchi is to firmly decide your intent.

And then, align your body and monouchi with that intent.

With that in mind, I’ll continue enjoying my “ki-ken-tai no icchi neurosis” life.

Alright then—
Off to keiko again tomorrow♪